Dying to Live

John 12:20-33

There are a few accounts in the gospels that tell us Jesus came first to connect with the Jews and that Gentiles, or non-Jews, were not his concern until after his resurrection. For example, he told his disciples when he first sent them out two by two to go to their fellow Jews. Further, there’s that disturbing account when the Syrian woman asks Jesus to do something for her and Jesus says it is not right to cast pearls before the swine. Then she came back with, “Yes, master, but even the dogs get the crumbs from the master’s table.” After saying that, Jesus grants the woman’s request. I don’t want to get into what that story is about, only to say that the impression we get is that Jesus came first to minister to the Jews. And this helps us understand why Philip and Andrew act the way they do when a couple of Greeks approach them with a request to speak to Jesus.
These Greeks approached Philip with a request to speak to Jesus. For some reason, they were either unable or unwilling to go directly to Jesus himself. Philip didn’t say, “Of course, right this way.” Rather, his response was, “Wait here.” Philip went to find Andrew. “Andrew, there are some Gentiles that are wanting to speak to Jesus. What should we do?” Neither of them knowing what was appropriate, they go to Jesus to tell him there are some Gentiles over there that want to speak with him. When they pointed them out to Jesus and told him who they were and what they wanted, I can imagine the expression on Jesus’ face. It would have been a knowing look, a realization that the time for him to complete his earthly work was at hand. He knew that his crucifixion was on behalf of the whole world, and that his death and resurrection would draw all the nations to himself. Now, it was already starting.
Reflecting on his upcoming passion, suffering, abuse, crucifixion, prompted Jesus to share this paradox: “If you love your life, you will lose it, but if you hate your life in this world, you will keep it for eternal life.” What does this mean? Especially, what does it mean to hate your life in this world? Teenagers will scream it out, “I hate my life!” People who are miserable say, “I hate my life.” Surely, this is not what Jesus had in mind. He doesn’t want us to be miserable.
Jesus doesn’t seem to me like a person who was miserable, who hated his earthly life. He did know that his earthly life was something he had taken up of his own free will. He chose to be born and to walk this earth. And he chose to lay his life down by dying on the cross, and in the process, defeating the power of death. He truly died, and then took up life again in the resurrection. Jesus knew his life is eternal. And, like what we talked about last week, those who look on the cross in faith will be healed from the poison bite of the serpent, the sickness of sin, and have eternal life. And as Jesus did, so we are invited to do: to be willing to lay down our life, if called upon, knowing that we will keep it for eternal life. We know this because we have the hope of resurrection. As you know, Jesus had a tendency for hyperbole, saying things like, “If your arm causes you to sin, cut it off.” Obviously, he doesn’t mean physically cut off your arm. Just so, when Jesus says we are to hate our life in this world, he is inviting us to not be attached to our life on earth. Our time here is brief in comparison to eternity. There truly is more to life than this.
Yet, we are in love with our life on earth. And we don’t want to think about losing it, but will go to great lengths to protect our lives, especially our self-constructed islands of familiarity. It is a shock to us to hear words such as this:
Come, brothers and sisters, before the end, and let us look upon our clay, upon the infirmity and meanness of our nature. Let us see that man is dust, food for worms, and corruption; that our bones grow dry, and have no breath of life within them. Let us gaze on the tombs. Where is man’s glory? Where his outward beauty? Where is the eloquent tongue? All is dust and shadow. Why does man deceive himself and boast? Why does he trouble himself in vain? For he is earth, and soon to the earth he will return. Why does man not reflect that he is formed from clay, and cast out as rottenness and corruption? Yet though we are clay, why do we cling so closely to the earth? For if we are Christ’s kin, should we not run to Him, leaving all this mortal and fleeting life, and seeking the life incorruptible, which is Christ Himself, the illumination of our souls?

This is the issue that Christ lays before us. Where is your primary attachment? What is your primary concern? Is it to do your own thing, live your life, get all you can and protect all you got? Or is it to think nothing of what you want, or what you have, but rather have as your ultimate concern what God wants of you? Is your life driven by love of yourself or love of God? Who comes first? If our overarching concern is to do our own will, we can be assured that we will discover the vanity of this kind of life when we die, or are in the process of dying and realize we can’t do what we want. Our bodies won’t let us. Or, we can make of our life the overarching desire to run to Christ, to follow his example, to live out his teachings and do His will, sacrificing our own will for the purposes of God, seeking first the kingdom of God. Doing this, and we can be assured that all we need for a blessed life will be provided, and we have as our future reward the knowledge that we will stand in God’s presence as one who is known.
But, again, there is nothing easy about this. We live in a culture, a media-driven consumer culture, that barrages us with the message that it’s all about me, it’s my life, and I should live as I see fit. Further, it is natural to protect your life. Of course we want to avoid pain, suffering, and sacrifice. Jesus acknowledges as much. For as he thinks about the suffering he will soon endure, he says, “Now my soul is troubled.” The prospect of suffering, especially on behalf of people, some of whom hate you but most of whom don’t even know you exist, is naturally very disturbing. It is perfectly natural to want to protect yourself, defend yourself, perhaps even assert yourself. True humility, dying to self-will, of always trying to get your way or get some benefit in every situation, is very hard, an ongoing struggle.
Now when Jesus said, “My soul is troubled.” This did not mean Jesus was having second thoughts. His will and the Father’s will were one will. There is no doubt Jesus would do what His Father wants Him to do. Jesus says he made this comment for our benefit, so we can be comforted in knowing that although Jesus did what was needed, it troubled him. Jesus was not brimming with excitement and a big, goofy grin on his face when he realized his crucifixion was a matter of days away. Of course, he was troubled. But his feelings didn’t prevent Him from doing His Father’s will. We, then, can be encouraged to do what God’s will is for us in spite of the troubling of our souls, to submit to the will of God by an act of will, rather than by how we feel about it.
And this is true freedom, to love not based on feelings, or the drive to protect oneself, but a love for others that is sheer act of will, regardless of personal risk or one’s feelings at the moment. This is a high calling for us to strive toward.
However, we must beware of taking this to an extreme, where we damage our bodies, or our well-being. There is the problem of giving of yourself so much that you have nothing left to give, thus rendering yourself useless. Living for God and putting others’ needs before our own is sort of a false either/or. If we don’t take care of our own needs, or allow our needs to be cared for, then we can’t be helpful. This is an aspect of humility too. Rather than always helping other people, we need help ourselves. We also are needy. We have to allow ourselves to be the ones receiving help. We need to allow others to meet our needs, even as we meet the needs of others. This is what enables community life, mutuality, interdependence. We need each other. Humility calls for giving and receiving, of leading and being led, of helping and being helped, of sacrificing and of benefiting from the sacrifice of others.
Again, what does it mean to hate your life? One way to look at it is the relationship of teacher and disciple. You could say that you hate your own self-directed life in order to follow the life as directed by your teacher. You say to yourself, “My life was going nowhere until I fell in love with Jesus. And now my life has meaning and purpose and direction, because now I’m not chasing my dreams and fantasies but obediently following my Teacher, my Lord and Savior.” This is the kind of attitude that we can adopt for our lives. Paul criticized some people in Philipi by writing in Phil 2:21- “All of them are seeking their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” John said it very clearly in one of his letters, 1 John 2:6- “Whoever says, ‘I live in Christ,’ ought to walk just as he walked.”
And so, whatever we do, we are to do it with the intention of serving Christ. This is the responsibility of all would identify themselves as Christians. Augustine said:
“Every one, therefore, is the servant of Christ in the same way as Christ also is a servant. And he that serves Christ in this way will be honored by His Father with the signal honor of being with His Son, and having nothing wanting to his happiness for ever. For even that noblest service of suffering has been rendered by many of your class; for many who were neither bishops nor clergy, but young men and virgins, those advanced in years with those who were not, many married persons both male and female, many fathers and mothers of families, have served Christ even to the laying down of their lives in martyrdom for His sake, and have been honored by the Father in receiving crowns of exceeding glory.”

We are to see all aspects of our life, our relationships and responsibilities and vows, within the context of being servants of Christ, with the assurance that in doing so, seeking to live out the will of God in every area of our life, that we will be honored by our Heavenly Father when we stand before Him.
There is one other benefit to dying to self and living for God. This is how we participate in the driving out of the ruler of this world, the devil. By choosing to follow Christ, as God gives us the grace to do so, we resist the devil, of whom Christ has already dethroned through the victory of the cross, that defeated the power of death and of hell. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, Satan, the ruler of this world, has been kicked off his throne and left out in the street. The devil, of course, is still with us. As Scripture says, Satan is like a lion, wandering about seeking who he may devour. If we were fortresses, the devil and his army of demons would be on the outside besieging the gates and trying to break in. He cannot enter unless we open our gate and let him in.
In our weakness, we do allow the devil in. But when we repent, the Holy Spirit is there to cast out the devil from our fortress again. And when the devil does wound us, with one of his fiery arrows, we have an Advocate who prays for us, a Great Physician that can heal our wounds and restore us to health. So we pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” We pray this because, on our own, we are too weak. We need to rely on God to help us against the onslaught of Satan, as it says in Ps. 127:1, “Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain.”
But this is the good news for us. The power of Satan has been defeated. The ruler of this world has been dethroned. We can be ruled by God’s will and no longer must serve our self-will that has been corrupted by the devil. Since Adam and Eve, our self-will has been our weakness. We didn’t have a chance. Now, by God’s grace, we do.


Let this be our prayer, this prayer written many centuries ago:
“Christ is risen, releasing from bondage Adam the first-formed man and destroying the power of hell. Be of good courage, for death is slain and hell despoiled; the crucified and risen Christ is King. He has given incorruption to our flesh; He raises us and grants us resurrection, and He counts worthy of His joy and glory all who, with a faith that wavers not, have trusted fervently in Him.”