Getting to the Nitty Gritty

Based on Ephesians 4:25-5:2

We are continuing our summer trip through the letter to the Ephesians. As I shared last week, Ephesians begins with expansive descriptions of the awesome reality that all of the universe is connected and held together by Christ, how God contains the whole universe and that the presence of God is everywhere and fills everything. Paul is describing this amazing reality so that the Ephesians become more clear about this reality and their privilege of living their lives with this understanding. It’s this understanding about what God has done through Christ that lays the foundation for the church to really be on the vanguard of living out this reality in daily life, to transform the vivid descriptions of what God has accomplished in Christ into actual lived experience. It’s no easy task since they, and us, live in communities that are so divided in so many ways. We all have to deal with the “what’s in it for me” attitude. And so often we don’t realize that decisions we make and the actions we take impact the community in ways we don’t even see. It is one thing to say we are all in this together and that we are all one body in Christ. It’s another thing to actually live that way and to treat every person we encounter as one of our own, so to speak. It’s easy for us to only be concerned about ourselves, or our family, or our church, or our neighborhood. Our lives are woven into the fabric of the universe whether we acknowledge it or not. We get that. We affirm that. We believe that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and that everything and every person contains the presence of God. How do we live that way? How do these beliefs shape how we treat one another and the earth on which we live?

The second half of this letter is when Paul starts moving into the nitty gritty. Last week, we reflected on a few of the values that Paul lifts up which reflect the reality of our connectedness: values such as humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with one another in love. Paul talked about some of the roles people play to help build a framework that makes it possible to live out these values. He spoke of those who do the work of waking people up to this new reality of unity in Christ. Paul names apostles, prophets, and evangelists who do that outreach. Then there are pastors and teachers who assist with the work of getting people on board when they come to understand what God has done through Christ.

Now, Paul starts giving some practical examples that help clarify what is involved in living out of this understanding of our unity in Christ. That’s what we will do today, look at some of these examples to see what light they can give us in our own day to day living.

And as Paul has been doing consistently through his letter, I want to stress this again. You and I belong to the body of Christ, not by our own choosing but by what God did through Jesus. God has already unified us in Christ. This unity is not something we achieve by our own actions. The unity we have is not dependent on us, which is what makes the unity we have so precious and durable. Our intertwined lives are a given. This is where we have hope because it is our tendency to strain unity, break off into factions, do our own thing. Left to our own devices, there would be no unity at all. The only unity that we can depend on is the unity that God has provided. We can be assured that we are united to God and that we are united to each other, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Perhaps you have heard of the concept of Ubuntu. It is a Bantu word for humanity which can be translated “I am because we are.” If it was not for a community, I would not exist. My very existence depends on the existence of the community. The community we have is given to us by God. This community is the body of Christ. Because the body of Christ exists, you and I exist. Our connectivity to each other simply is, in spite of the fact that we are not always mindful of our connectivity or sometimes even try to rip ourselves apart from each other. As Paul did, I’m stressing this point because it is so important in making sense of what Paul teaches about how we are to live together. If we can grasp how we are bound together by God’s action, then it is only natural for us to love each other and to turn away from anything that would try to pull us apart.

So, by keeping this in mind, that we are united by the sheer will and grace of God, Paul challenges us this morning to live a life of love. By accepting that God has joined us together, loving each other becomes more of a natural action. We are joined together in the bond of peace so of course we love each other, build each other up, live a life of love together. Doing otherwise makes less sense if we accept that God has already bound us together.

So, what are the practical ways to live a life of love? Paul starts by telling us to put off falsehoods and speak truthfully to one another. People who love each other are honest with each other, even when it’s a hard truth. Now we know how challenging this can be. I remember this commercial a few years back that showed what appeared to be Honest Abe Lincoln with his wife who asks him, “Abe, does this dress make me look fat?” Abe didn’t answer right away, giving us the impression he was calculating the cost of being truthful with his wife! Yes, we need to be honest and truthful with each other. But we need to think about how we are truthful, or how fully honest we will be. There can be a cost. The truth needs told in a way that it can be understood and received. Maybe not the whole truth needs to be shared. There’s nothing wrong with using discretion when we tell the truth to each other. I remember one time when I was young, our youth group was having some kind of devotional. I can’t remember what we were asked but I said something to someone in the group in all honesty and with the best of intentions. But how I said it hurt her feelings. What I said was true, but I said it in an unintentionally hurtful way. So, telling the truth instead of lying to each other is the way to go. That’s what people who love each other do. But how we go about telling that truth needs to be considered so that our truth telling doesn’t do harm but can be heard and received. Another way of saying it is that we should aim to call people in and not call people out.

What next? Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, lest you make room for the devil. There’s that old truism for couples: never go to sleep mad at each other. It’s fine to be angry for a while. But it’s the holding on to the anger that becomes like a festering sore in our minds and hearts. Carrying a grudge is a real thing. I still carry a bit of a grudge with some experiences I had several years back. Holding on to anger from past slights, a misunderstanding, a poor choice of words, whatever it it…this really does harm the community. I see anger and truth telling going together. If someone makes you angry, tell them. Don’t stew about it. Don’t tell everyone else about it. Don’t suppress it. Tell it to the person that made you angry and do it quickly so that the anger doesn’t fester in your heart. Otherwise, it can just build up and build up until something happens that lights the fuse, and you have a big mess on your hands. So, it’s ok to be angry, but don’t stay angry for long. Talk it out with the person who has angered you. Say your peace and then let it go. Holding on to that grudge or plotting your revenge doesn’t do anyone any good.

The next thing Paul talks about is thievery. We are one community. But we also have to be responsible, not only in caring for our personal needs but also in contributing to the good of the whole. For example, if you have bills to pay you only have a few options: you can work and earn money, you may get government benefits that can help you, you could borrow money, you can beg for money, or you can steal money. In Paul’s day there were just three options: work, beg, or steal. Of these options, only stealing was the bad option. Begging is perfectly fine. But working is the preferred option. And not just working to care for your own needs but also so you have something extra to give to those who choose to beg. Working and begging are two acceptable ways to care for your needs. Only theft damages community. So, Paul tells us not to choose that option.

“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.” This verse of Paul’s is like pure water in the swampy stench that is our body politic. From slimy political ads to the evening opinion shows on cable news we are awash in talk that tears down rather than builds up. It is so important for us to speak words of grace, words that build others up, that offer hope, encouragement, advice, whatever is needed. Along with that, we should also be discerning about who we listen to. If someone is always tearing you down with their words, just let the words go through one ear and out the other. No one is making you watch those opinion shows on the cable news. Try to eliminate as much of the negative talk as you can out of your life. Words are powerful. Words can tear down, and they can build up. Paul is telling us to use words that build up.

Paul sums up what he has been teaching so far with verses 31 and 32: put away bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, slander, and malice; be kind, tenderhearted, and forgive one another. Why? Because that’s how people who are united in one body love each other. People who love each other are kind to each other, are tenderhearted toward each other and forgive each other. I mean, it’s obvious right? So, if it’s obvious, why is it so hard?

The answer has to be sin. There is something let loose in the world that twists things up, that blocks us from being our best selves as God created us to be. I understand sin to be like a congenital disease, or like a virus, a parasite that is foreign to who we are as those who are made in the image of God. Sin is like a disease that we all have to overcome. And by God’s grace we can. This is the other thing Paul talks about, a word of encouragement for us, to build us up.

Paul tells us that we have been sealed with the Holy Spirit. We are marked with a seal for the day of redemption. As I thought about what this means, I thought of canning. My mother-in-law makes the absolute best canned peaches. It’s not anything fancy. No secret ingredients. She carefully peals and cores the peaches. She then cuts them into bite sized chunks. She puts them in a simple sugar syrup. She fills the mason jars, puts the seals on and then put the jars in boiling water, making sure to get a tight seal. Then those jars of peaches sit around waiting to be opened so those sweet, delicious peaches can get eaten. We always get to take a few home with us and they sit in one of our kitchen cupboards. Then, at some point, we take one of those jars, maybe wipe some dust off the top. Then we take a bottle opener and pry that seal until we hear “POP”. Then we dig in. A little taste of heaven.

It’s that tight seal that keeps those peaches fresh and tasty. It preserves them. In a way the seal of the Holy Spirit we have received is like seal on that mason jar of peaches. The Spirit preserves our souls. In spite of all around us, including sin, that seeks to corrupt and spoil us, deep inside, at the core of who we are, the Spirit of God preserves us until that day when we are set free, the day of our redemption.

This is all good news for us. The Spirit binds us together as the body of Christ. The Spirit seals and preserves our souls. God has done this for us, assuring us that we belong, that we have a community and are not cut loose to drift aimlessly in the world. Who we are in our essence, our core, it is protected and secure, all because of God’s love for us. We have nothing to fear. We have nothing to lose. We belong to God and each other and this will never change.

If we can trust this to be so, that our lives and our community are in the hands of God, safe and secure, then we can have the confidence to be imitators of God as Jesus demonstrated for us. We can take the risk to love one another. We can do all these things that Paul is teaching us to do. We can be resolved to make love a way of life, so that every thought, word and deed is shaped by love, just like what God does, the One who is love.