To Love is to Respond

Based on James 2:1-10, 14-17

It is pretty tough to be overlooked, to be passed over. It hurts to be ignored, to be pushed aside. George had been with the company fifteen years. He rarely missed a day of work. He worked hard. He contributed to the success of the company. He was dependable and solid. Yet, he finds himself being supervised by some kid who has only been with the company a few years. George got passed over for the supervisor job because upper management saw someone with potential, so they put him on the fast track, moving him through the ranks while George, who had put in the time and knew the ins and outs of the company, was passed over. George kept doing his job. But he had some resentment. Was George passed over because he was too old? Was it because he was Black? George is one of many examples of competent, dedicated, and hard-working people who get passed over.

Which is worse, being passed over or being ignored all together? Marcia had burned her bridges with her family. She had a man who promised to love her and take care of her. But he cheated on her and when she caught him, he kicked her out of his place. She had nowhere to live, no money, nowhere to go. And so, there she sits in front of the bank with a little scrap of cardboard scribbled on it, “Homeless, need help, God bless you.” She sits there all morning. Hundreds of people walk past her. And not one person even looks at her. It is as if she is invisible to the world.

What is especially bad is when people are overlooked or ignored in the church. I wonder if you have ever had this experience. You are visiting a church. You go into the sanctuary, worship, and then leave the sanctuary. Your presence is barely acknowledged. You walk out into the narthex and see groups of people huddled together chatting and laughing. They seem like a friendly bunch of people. You walk slowly around the groups of folks and head out the door. Nobody even noticed you apparently. I’m sure the people in that church would say they are friendly. But they were so friendly with each other they barely noticed you. It’s not a good feeling to be the one who gets the message that you don’t belong, in church of all places.

Let’s sit with this for a minute. Every now and then we do have people who come visit us on Sunday morning. When we see that visitor, all of us give them the once-over. It’s human nature. We see the person and immediately start sizing them up and making judgments. Is this someone I can relate to? Are they here to worship or do they just want to see the pastor? We do this. We make snap judgments about someone and try to pigeon-hole them, so we think we know who we are dealing with. This starts in school when kids form cliques based on all kinds of criteria. You are a jock, or a band geek, or a nerd. It is natural for us to cluster into groups based on similar interests, perspectives, and the like. How is it possible for you to be friends with a Michigan fan? I know personally that this is possible. If, every time you look at this person, you are turned off because of their style, their attitude, their bad breath, it’s hard to connect. If you have no common interests, your personalities clash, there’s just a bad vibe between the two of you. It’s hard to be in a relationship with a person who is always rubbing you the wrong way. We tend to want to spend time with people we like, that we agree with, that make us feel comfortable. We avoid being around people that put us on edge, that we think are weird or annoying. To show partiality is as normal as breathing. It’s just something we do without thinking about it.

But James makes it plain. “If you show partiality, then you are not loving your neighbor.” Your neighbor doesn’t always look like you or think like you. Your neighbor isn’t always easy to be around. Your neighbor may not fit in and might make you feel very uncomfortable. But they are still your neighbor. Anyone who enters your space, that six-foot circumference around your body, is your neighbor. And God’s commandment is clear: You shall love your neighbor. To show partiality, to overlook or ignore the person in your space, is not loving. It is hurtful.

Remember, love is not mere words. You walk into the bank and see Marcia sitting there with her little sign. You actually see her, which is a start. You look at her and say, “God bless you, be fed, stay warm, be safe.” And then you go on your way. Well, at least Marcia knows she isn’t invisible. But her situation hasn’t changed. Your nice words don’t help her. Love is not a matter of words only. Now, I know. Whether or not to give money to someone who is homeless is complicated. Maybe you can give them something to eat or some water. Maybe if you have time, you can have a quick bite with them at a near-by restaurant. Or maybe you really have nothing to give them. Acknowledging their presence is all you have to give and that should not be minimized. Still, at least for me, every time I see someone who is homeless, I am at least motivated to ask the question, “Is there something I can do right now to help this person?” Maybe there isn’t anything more than saying “hello.” The point is to be responsive and not look away. That’s what love asks of us.

Remember that love is not only a warm and fuzzy feeling. Every parent can testify to this truth. There are times when you were raising your kids, especially when they hit their teen age years, when the feelings were not always warm and fuzzy. You drove each other crazy! But you still loved your kids. Or maybe you were raising “fur babies.” Pets can be irritating sometimes. But you still love them. Even when your dog chewed up your wallet or your child stomped down the hall to their bedroom screaming, “I hate you!”, you still had love. It’s just that love is not all rainbows, butterflies, and pink unicorns.

Love is an ethic. Love is being responsive to the person in front of you, a responsiveness that meets the need of that person, so that they are better off for having run in to you. To love Marcia means to help her get what she needs if you can, whether that be some food or some shelter. What could you do besides smile and say, “God bless you?” Do you have the time to take her to a diner and share a meal with her and hear her story? Maybe you could tell her about the homeless shelter for women that can get her a safe place to stay and the resources she needs to get her life together.

How can you love that person that annoys the heck out of you? You don’t have to like them. That may be asking too much. But you can at least smile and say “hi.” That’s a place to start. What else could you do to support them, to respond to a need they might have, to communicate in a real way that you care about them?

God shows no partiality. God loves everyone the same. That’s what makes God, God. God does not overlook you. God includes you in God’s care. When Jesus died on the cross so that death would be defeated, it was for your sake that Jesus died. Jesus suffered death on behalf of everyone, not just for some. God is always there for you. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. God’s love is that big.

That is our challenge as God’s children, as those who have determined to live our lives following God’s example. The example God has set for us is hard. To love as God loves isn’t really possible. It’s that goal of perfection, of perfect love, that we strive for until we draw our last breath in this world. To love as God loves is something we strive for if our faith is to have any integrity. How can you say you love God, but you don’t love that annoying misfit whom God made? How can you say you love God and hate anyone? Well, hate may be a strong word. But maybe sometimes it’s not. Our integrity demands that we love. But sometimes love for the other is almost impossible. Thank God that God doesn’t love us based on our capacity to love others. God loves us no matter what. Still, this is our challenge. Whenever anyone enters your space, that six-foot circle around you, that’s your neighbor. God expects you to love your neighbor. How will you respond?