Watch Your Mouth

Reflections on Ephesians 4:25-5:2

Paul’s letter to the Ephesians is a letter that focuses on the need for unity in the church. Over and over, Paul drives home the message that the church must be united as one body in Christ. Each person is responsible for building up and maintaining the unity of the church. The disunity that is present in the church is a scandal. Divisiveness among Christians sends a confusing message to those who are outside of the church. It’s hard for us to talk about peace and love when we fail to exhibit it. We have the resources to be united, with one Lord, one Spirit, one baptism, one faith. We have Holy Communion as a living symbol of our unity in Christ. Yet, our unity is not complete. We are divided. We must ask God to help us be united in one heart and mind.
The passage read for us this morning gives us some instruction on what we can do to build and maintain unity in the church. They are clear and practical. They are simple to understand, but, of course, hard to do. We have to ask God to help us do these things and keep at it without growing weary of doing good. It’s a life time of effort. But if we keep at it, slowly but surely we can do what we are taught to do in this passage. After all, why would we be instructed in these things if it was impossible for us to achieve? So, let’s look at what this scripture instructs us to do.
It starts with the mouth. You’ve heard the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” There’s more to it than that, but that’s not a bad way of summarizing what we are being taught about what we say. Listen to what is said about our speech: “Speak the truth to your neighbor; let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.” It has been said that God has given us mouths for two purposes: to give praise to God and to build up others. God forgive us, when we think about what we say that does not fit into those two categories. The Bible has a lot to say about the mouth, and how careful we have to be about what we say. “There is he who is silent, and who is found wise; and there is he that is hated for much speech…” It is a good discipline for all of us to err on the side of saying nothing. The more talkative we are, the more likely we are to say something that is not worthy of being said. John Chrysostom, nick named the “Golden Mouth,” suggested that the seal of the Holy Spirit that we have received we should consider placed over our mouths.
So, to build up and maintain unity as a church, it starts with the mouth. Don’t lie to one another. Do not flatter someone and then turn around and criticize behind their back. Instead, speak truth to one another. Be forthright in your speech. Say what you mean. But say it with humility, appreciating the fact that when you speak to or about someone else, you are speaking about someone who has been sealed with the Holy Spirit and is claimed as one of God’s flock, as you are. It is God’s possession that you are speaking of. And when speaking to another, speak in a way that lifts up and encourages, and does not beat down. We need to encourage one another, not tear down one another. We want to talk to each other in a way that brings us together rather than pushes us apart.
Think about a building made out of brick. As long as the bricks are bound closely together and there are no gaps, then the building is firm and strong. But if gaps start to appear and are left that way, the building becomes weak and, eventually, could collapse. Our words to each other can be the mortar that holds us together and keeps our community strong. Or, our words can push people away and break the bond between us, which threatens the stability of our community. So, we need to be careful, that we speak truthfully to each other and speak in ways that builds up rather than tears down.
This is one reason why our anger toward each other must be dealt with promptly. How often have we said things out of anger that we wish we could take back. Anger is a flare up of passion that needs to be put out as soon as it is kindled. If left to smolder, it will eventually burst into flame and cause great harm to everyone. If we can’t make things right with the person that has angered us, we have to at least give our anger over to God and ask for Him to heal us and calm us down. Again, the quicker we get rid of our anger the better. Depending on when it happens, you can basically stay angry no longer than about eight hours. The sooner you get over your anger, the better for everyone. In fact, this is the next thing that we learn in this passage; the importance of getting rid of the weeds.
Before you plant a garden, you have to pull out the weeds and thorns. This is true for our souls as well. Over time, weeds start popping up within us; weeds like anger, bitterness, wrath, wrangling, slander, malice. We need to pay attention to ourselves, constantly be assessing ourselves and asking God to root out from us all these weeds. It is critical for us to be cleansed from these weeds that crop up within us so that we can be more effective in building up one another. Having these weeds cleared out goes a long way toward improving what comes out of our mouths. It is from the heart that the mouth speaks. With a more pure heart, we have more pure speech. But if our heart becomes filled with the weeds of bitterness, resentment, and anger, it will show by what comes out of our mouths. So, we need to pay attention to ourselves and get rid of the weeds.
But it is not enough to pull out the weeds if good seeds are not planted. What happens after you have pulled up all those weeds and then leave the flowerbed alone? Weeds naturally start growing again if left untended, and eventually you have a bed full of weeds again. So, it is not enough to get rid of the weeds that pop up in our hearts. We have to also plant some good seeds in our hearts. These are the good seeds of kindness toward one another, being tenderhearted, and forgiving each other as God in Christ has forgiven each of us. This is what is so great about this passage. Not only are we instructed what we are not to do, we are also told what we need to do.
John Wesley, when he was establishing his discipleship groups, gave them three simple rules. The first two are: do no harm and do good. It’s not enough just to do no harm. We also have to do good. What good is it for a gardener to be clean cut, not smoking or drinking, being morally upright; and who sits around all day without pulling weeds, watering the flowers and mowing the grass? Refraining from smoking and cussing is nice as far as it goes. But the gardener also is supposed to do something. Just so, it isn’t enough for us to be well behaved, look nice, and then sit around and watch while others are doing good works. Paul uses the example of a thief. The thief must stop stealing. And the thief needs to work honestly with their hands so that they can have something to share with the needy. So, it’s not enough to stop stealing. He also has to contribute to the common good through labor. We all have things that need to be done. To be kind to one another is to do good things for each other. To be tenderhearted is to help each other and be thoughtful when someone is going through a hard time. Being good little boys and girls isn’t sufficient. We all have to participate in the life of the church.
By refraining from doing harm and by doing good, we see the following results. First, unity is maintained. We are each doing our part to have strong, healthy relationships with each other. The stronger those relationships, the stronger will our community be, and the stronger will be the body of Christ, of which we are a part.
Second, Satan gets squeezed out. Where God desires unity and peace, Satan desires division and discord. So, Paul instructs us to not make room for the devil. The closer, the tighter knit, we are to each other, the better. If our bond is solid, there are no gaps for Satan to work his way into, like water that can leak into the cracks of the foundation of a house. By sealing our leaks through strengthening our relationships with each other, we leave no room for the devil to work his mischief in pushing us apart from each other.
Third, by refraining from doing harm and by doing good, we imitate God. God has no bitterness, nor does God slander. God can be angry, and can be filled with wrath. But as the psalm says, God’s wrath is for a day, His loving-kindness is for eternity. Rather, God is kind and tender-hearted, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, allowing the sun to shine on the good and the wicked. His mercy and grace is beyond understanding. When put to death on the cross, Christ did not call down wrath on those who crucified Him, but He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” So, when we are kind, tender-hearted, and forgive those who offend and hurt us unjustly, we imitate God. And isn’t that what we want to do? Children that are beloved by their parents live after their example. If we would dare to consider ourselves to be the beloved children of God, then we would seek to live our lives after the example of our Heavenly Father.
All I have said can be summarized by three words found in Eph. 5:2; “Live in love.” This is our fragrant offering, our sacrifice to God; to love God and to love who God loves. I was visiting with a young man who is exploring whether God may be calling him into ordained ministry or some other ministry of the church. He said he heard this sermon recently. The teacher was talking about how Israel used to offer animal sacrifices, and they would be referred to as a sweet smelling sacrifice. We, too, are called to offer our lives as a sacrifice to God. And so, the preacher asked, “what does your life smell like?” Is there the stench of bitterness, wrangling, and slander? Is there a hint of the sweet smell of kindness and forgiveness? Is there a lack of smell, like that of an empty room that has been sterilized? Does your life have a rich, pungent odor of active engagement, of inner growth and vitality? When Jesus gave himself up for us on the cross, it was a fragrant offering and sacrifice for God. What is the smell of our offering to God? What does this church smell like?