Sunday, March 22, 2015

Dying to Live: A Reflection on John 12:20-33


            When we look through the Gospels as a whole, we are left with the impression that Jesus’ first concern was with his fellow Jews. Of course, Jesus cared about Gentiles too. But his focus was on God’s chosen people. For example, when Jesus sent his disciples out two by two, he told them to go to the Jews in each village. Then there is that disturbing account of when the Syrian woman came to Jesus asking for him to heal her daughter. And Jesus says it is not right to throw the children’s bread to the little dogs. Then she came back with, “Yes, lord, but even the dogs get the crumbs that fall from the children’s table.” After saying that, Jesus grants the woman’s request. There are a few things that could be said about that story but the impression here and in other accounts is that Jesus came first to minister to the Jews. All of this helps us understand why Philip and Andrew act the way they do when a couple of Greeks approach them with a request to speak to Jesus.

            For whatever reason, these Greeks go up to Philip instead of Jesus directly. Maybe they were being respectful. Or they weren’t sure if Jesus would see them or not. At any rate, they walk up to Philip and ask to speak with Jesus. Philip doesn’t say, “Of course, right this way!” Rather, Philip says, “Wait here.” Then, I expect with some confusion on his face, he goes looking for Andrew and says, “Andrew, there are a couple Gentiles who want to speak with Jesus. What should we do?” Andrew said, “I don’t know. Maybe we should just go to Jesus and see how he wants to handle this.” So, they go to Jesus and point to the two Gentiles standing there, saying “they want to talk with you.” I imagine Jesus, looking at the Gentiles, had a knowing look. Jesus knew what was going on. He knew that his crucifixion was for all nations, and that after his resurrection all the peoples of the world would be drawn to him. It had already begun.

            This gets Jesus to start thinking about his upcoming passion, the suffering he will go through, the crucifixion, and this prompts Jesus to tell Philip, Andrew, and the rest, “If you love your life, you will lose it, but if you hate your life you will keep it for eternal life.” What in the world does that mean? Why would you even want to keep something you hate? And Jesus is encouraging us to hate our lives? Teenagers will cry out, “I hate my life!” People who are miserable will moan, “I hate my life.” Is this what Jesus has in mind, for us to be miserable?

            I don’t believe he did. No, this is one of those sayings of Jesus that we need to interpret and not take literally. It’s just like when Jesus said that if our right hand causes us to sin, we are to cut it off because it is better to enter eternal life maimed than it is to remain whole and tossed into the lake of fire. Jesus didn’t mean for us to cut our hands off. So are we supposed to hate our lives instead of love them? I believe Jesus loved life. He is the Lord of life. I can’t imagine Jesus hated his life when he was walking around doing his earthly ministry. But he did know that he would have to lay down his life, only to take it up again at the resurrection. He knew his life was eternal, even though for a few days he would suffer death. So Jesus loved his life, but not so much that he was unwilling to give up life for a few days if that’s what it took to defeat the power of death. So in this saying of Jesus, he is telling the disciples that he is going to die but then come back to life. And perhaps he is telling them that they will also have to make a choice, to choose to lay down their lives, only to take it up again. Perhaps Jesus is saying that there is more to life than the few years we have on earth. If we lay side by side our life on earth and the promised life in the world to come, the choice would be clear about which of the two we would cherish. It’s not that life on earth is so bad, but everlasting life in Paradise? There’s no comparison.

            Yet, we don’t think about that. We don’t think much about losing our lives to death. It can be disturbing, even shocking, to hear words such as this:

            Come, brothers and sisters, before the end, and let us look upon our clay, upon the infirmity and meanness of our nature. Let us see that we are dust, food for worms, and corruption; that our bones grow dry, and have no breath of life within them. Let us gaze on the tombs. Where is the glory? Where is the outward beauty? Where is the eloquent tongue? All is dust and shadow. Why do we deceive ourselves and boast? Why do we trouble ourselves in vain? For we are earth, and soon to the earth we will return. Why do we not reflect that we are formed from clay, and cast out as rottenness and corruption? Yet though we are clay, why do we cling so closely to earth? For if we are Christ’s kin, should we not run to him, leaving all this mortal and fleeting life, and seeking life incorruptible, which is Christ himself, the illumination of our souls?

            This is the issue that Christ lays before us. What matters to you more, your life on earth or everlasting life with God? If what drives us is to do whatever we want, get as much as we can and keep what we’ve got, then we will learn a painful lesson. The older we get, the more we discover that we can’t always do what we want. Our bodies won’t let us. And we discover that all that stuff we thought was so important, that made us feel important, in the end is meaningless. But if we choose to make our aim in life to pursue Christ, to keep Christ front and center instead of our self-interest, will we not discover that we have all we need? So that even when our bodies break down and all the things we worked for slip out of our grasp, that we still have Jesus? That there’s more to life than the time we spend here on earth?

            Of course, there’s nothing easy about this. The choice may seem obvious but that doesn’t make it simple. We live in a culture where we are barraged with a constant message that it’s all about me, my life, what I want, and that I’m free to live my life however I want. And that’s true. We are free to choose what kind of life we will live. But we don’t want to live a life that includes pain, suffering, and sacrifice. Jesus knows this to be true. While he reflected on the suffering he was about to endure, he says, “Now my soul is troubled.” It’s understandable that his soul would be troubled as he considers that soon he will be suffering and dying for people that don’t really know him, and some who outright despise him. To be truly humble, to resist the need to protect yourself from getting hurt, of sacrificing on behalf of others who don’t appreciate or understand what you are doing, that’s a tough choice to make.

            Now when Jesus said his soul was troubled, this didn’t mean he was having second thoughts. His will and God’s will were in perfect alignment. It’s just that Jesus didn’t get a big grin on his face or jump up and down as he thought about the suffering that lay in front of him. Of course he was troubled. But he would not allow his feelings to prevent him from doing the will of the One who sent him. Jesus is setting for us a challenging example, to not allow our feelings, even our troubled souls, to prevent us from doing what God’s will is for us, to do what is loving.

            And this is true freedom, to love others whether you feel like it or not. To love others as a sheer act of will, even at potential personal risk or sacrifice. That is a high calling.

            However, there is a problem here. I have known of people that gave so much of themselves that they had nothing left to give. They were emotionally burned out. Some of them became physically ill because they did not take care of themselves. It’s like when you get on the airplane and they tell you that in case of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. If you are seated next to a child put your mask on first, then help the child. Living for God and putting the needs of others ahead of your own does not mean that you can ignore your real needs. Humility is about more than putting others first. Humility also is the acknowledgement that you can’t do it all. Each of us are also needy. We have to allow ourselves to be helped and cared for. This is what makes community life possible. We need each other. Humility calls for giving and receiving, leading and following, helping and being helped, of sacrificing and benefiting from the sacrifices of others.

            So, what does it mean to hate your life? Maybe think of it this way. Keith Green is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. He wrote a song called, “Your Love Broke Through.” It is a song about his life. He thought he knew what he wanted out of life and was relentless in pursuing his goals. But he was finding no real purpose in life. He was lost in a fantasy of his own making. But then God’s love broke through into his life. He came to love Jesus and desired to live for God. No longer chasing after his own dreams and fantasies, he obediently sought to follow the ways of Jesus. So he sings about how his life now has meaning, purpose, and direction. He hated his old life and fell in love with his new life in Christ. I believe that’s the attitude that Jesus is trying to teach us.

            The invitation is to see all aspects of our lives, our relationships, our responsibilities, the daily trials and tribulations of living, to place all within the context of being servants of Christ. Be a spouse as if you were serving Christ. Be a parent as if you were serving Christ. Be a neighbor as if you were serving Christ. Whatever you do for a living, do it as if you were serving Christ. Live every moment of your life as a servant of Christ. It is in this that we are able to stop living a self-focused life and instead live a Christ-focused life. Then when the suffering and pain comes, we can realize that it is the price of love, not the consequence of being self-centered and vain. And when we cross over to the other side of the river, we will hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master.”

 The song by Keith Green I mentioned can be listened to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObrFm5EN2II

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