The Moment of Decision

Based on Luke 22:39-46

Do you know that sometimes it is hard to do God’s will? I’m not talking about the challenges of loving well, especially the extreme demand to love our enemies. I’m talking about those times in life when we sense God is drawing us toward a certain life path or a course of action that goes against what we would rather do, or perhaps is asking us to sacrifice in ways we don’t want to give. Or it seems too big, unrealistic, too risky. We sense the call, and we say, “Why me, God?”

There are examples of this all through the scriptures. When Moses was called by God to go to Pharoah and demand that he let the Hebrews go, Moses comes up with all kinds of reasons why he is not the one to do this. God patiently responded to each of his excuses. Desperate, Moses pleads, “God, please, just send someone else!” When Elijah was called to anoint someone else to be king, he runs to the wilderness. He doesn’t want to do it because he fears for his life. He finally goes to a cave where he eventually hears that still, small voice that directs him to go back and anoint the one God has appointed to be king. When God called Jonah to go to Nineveh to warn them of their impending doom if they do not repent, Jonah runs the opposite direction. When Ananias was directed by the Spirit to go to Saul who had been struck blind in his encounter with Jesus, Ananias said, “Are you sure? This man persecutes the followers of Jesus. He is dangerous.” These are just a few of the times throughout scripture where people are called by God to do hard things and, rather than rushing off and doing what God has called them to do, they resist, they push back, they make excuses. It takes some time for them to process the request and move in obedience to the call God has placed on their lives.

It is almost a cliché, the story that people tell of how they sensed God calling them to devote their lives to ministry as a pastor and how they avoided that call, following other ideas of what they wanted to do in their life, or resisting the cost of letting go of a career or embracing the uncertainty of living the itinerant life. But it’s not just those who are called to ordained ministry. I know of people who felt led to change careers. Or they had to make a choice to leave home. I have had to make those decisions. Kim and I had to discern whether to stay in Oklahoma where I was raised, where I had family and colleagues and good friends, where I had been ordained as a pastor, and to leave all that behind to move to Ohio where we would be closer to Kim’s family, but I didn’t know anybody. I suppose all of you have experienced crossroads moments in your life where you had to decide and follow where you believe you were being led which meant letting go of other options, letting go of what is familiar, letting go of what is good for what is better. Yes, following God’s will is sometimes hard,

When we face these hard situations, the temptation is to do something else or to walk away. Moses made excuses. Elijah ran to the desert. Jonah ran the opposite direction from Nineveh. Instead of going to seminary, people choose to go to business school. Instead of taking that leap of faith, people stay put or, if it asks too much, give up and walk away. Or they give in to the pressure of others who advise not to do what they know they should do. When confronted with the need to do hard things, there is always the temptation to do something other than what the hard thing is. The easiest choice is to do nothing at all.

This is probably what Jesus had in mind when he led his disciples up to the Mount of Olives to pray. Later that night, Jesus would be arrested. Within a day of his arrest, he would be nailed to a cross. The hard thing was imminent. The decision to be faithful to what God had called Jesus to do had arrived. And it wasn’t just Jesus that was on the verge of enduring a hard struggle. His disciples would be experiencing profound change. The three years they had spent with Jesus was ending. Their master would soon be viewed as a criminal deserving of death. Those associated with Jesus would suddenly become suspect. They would be having to make that choice whether to publicly associate themselves with Jesus or turn their backs on him. As we know, they all turned and ran. Peter would deny publicly that he knew Jesus three times. The temptation that the disciples faced to avoid the hard will of God was immense. So, Jesus instructed his disciples to pray that last line of the prayer that he had taught them, “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Going a stone’s throw away from the disciples, Jesus falls to his knees and models for us what this prayer is. He cries out, “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me; yet, not what I will but your will be done.” Let’s break this simple and powerful prayer down so that we can understand what it means to ask God to lead us not into temptation and to deliver us from evil.

First, Jesus was honest about what he wanted, or rather what he didn’t want. He really did not want to go through with this. He did not want to suffer like he knew he would. He did not want the pain and brutality of that cross. He wanted some other way to fulfill the destiny God had given him to fulfill. When we are faced with those times when we sense a direction that we need to go but it is not the way we want to go, or that is scary, or will require great sacrifice, we begin our prayer by naming it before God. Cry out to God. Just like Moses did, make those excuses. Give God the reasons why God is making a mistake. Plead for another way. Tell God what you think. Let it out. Express your fear, your resistance, your desire for another way. Be honest before God.

After expressing what he wanted for himself, and his plea for God to change God’s mind, Jesus says, “Yet, not my will but yours be done.” After letting it out, expressing with honesty your desire for another way, make that commitment to God’s will. Commit to follow the direction God is leading you to follow. Say to God, “I want to obey your will. I will do what you ask of me.” Getting to that place where you can set your intention to follow God’s will no matter what makes the difference.

We read that after Jesus made his prayer, committing to be faithful to God’s purpose for him, an angel appeared to strengthen him. Jesus needed to be strengthened? Yes, as any human would when being confronted with the need to do hard things. That angel appeared after Jesus renewed his commitment to do what God had sent him to do. It reflects what happens when we express our trepidation and even grieve what we must let go to be faithful, and then set our minds to follow through with God’s will on our lives. It is from this place of recommitment that we experience strength and courage. God starts to supply what we need to move forward. We can resist, by God’s grace, the temptation to disobey God’s will on our lives, the disobedience that lies at the heart of the evil in our world.

Praying this prayer isn’t easy. Jesus himself struggled so mightily in his prayer that he broke out into a sweat like being engaged in a wrestling match. Sweat poured off Jesus’ face, big drops of sweat that like drops of blood fell to the ground. When we pray this prayer, we may find ourselves breaking out into a sweat. Or maybe it is tears that fall from our eyes. As we struggle through this prayer, a feeling of grief may even rise up. As we contemplate the cost of following God’s will, the sacrifices that will need to be made, what will need to be let go of or left behind, it stirs up grief.

The disciples were overcome with grief. As they realized that what Jesus had told them was about to pass, that he would be betrayed, arrested, beaten, mocked, and then nailed to a cross to die, what an overwhelming feeling of grief that washed over them. They had to come to terms that Jesus would be leaving them soon. Yes, he said he would rise from the dead. But things wouldn’t be the same. Everything was changing. They would fear for their lives. They would see their beloved master treated in such a degrading way. All their earlier hopes of what would happen when the messiah came was dashed. Nothing was happening like they thought it would. Disappointment. Uncertainty. Anxiety. These are hard emotions that built up in them a deep sense of grief. And the grief took over. Rather than sticking with the prayer that Jesus had invited them to do, they fell into a restless sleep. They were immobilized in their grief. Can we not relate? We sometimes get the advice before making hard decisions to sleep on it first before we say “yes.” There is probably some wisdom to that. But sleep also delays making a decision. Sleep is a way to avoid making the move. Sleep is also a salve for the pain of grief. We all know what that is like. Grief is exhausting.

What does Jesus say to the disciples? He invites them again to pray that prayer that they may not come into the time of trial. He calls them back to pray that prayer of honesty and acceptance. It was this prayer that gave Jesus the strength he needed to push forward. It is this prayer that gives us the strength we need to do the hard things that God sometimes leads us to do. This is our invitation. Thankfully, those moments of decision are rare in our lives. But when they come along, Jesus has provided us a model on how to pray our way through so that we can overcome the temptation to forsake God’s way and instead to set our intention to be faithful, no matter the cost. May the Spirit remind you of this prayer Jesus offered up on the Mount of Olives when you find yourself in the moment of decision.