Love Doesn't Count the Cost

Based on Luke 9:51-62

This morning, in the gospel of Luke, we have recounted for us the turning point in Jesus’ life. Verse 51, “When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” And for the next nine chapters, Jesus takes his long journey to Jerusalem toward his destiny, all along the way teaching about discipleship. Luke takes the opportunity to foreshadow what happens to Jesus immediately after he turns his face toward Jerusalem. First, he is rejected by the Samaritans. Then, three would be disciples are rejected after Jesus informs them of the cost of discipleship. The journey toward Jerusalem does not start with joy and ease, but with rejection and the counting of the cost.

The first person comes to Jesus and says, “I will follow you wherever you go!” And Jesus’ response is, “Foxes have holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Jesus is saying that to be a disciple requires leaving behind your security blanket. You have to be willing to leave behind your home and become a traveler, not bound by the homeland but free to go wherever Jesus leads. This, by the way, lends scriptural support to itinerant ministry. Before United Methodist clergy are ordained as elders, they have to make the commitment to go wherever the bishop sends them. But it’s not just clergy who have to make this commitment to go where they are sent. People who serve in the military know what it is to be sent all over the place. Some jobs require lots of travel, sometimes for extended periods of time. Sometimes people feel led to get into short-term or even long-term mission work. Kim and I have friends who were led to go do Christian ministry in Cambodia. They have been over there for a few years now. They sold their house and left their family and church to go there. So, this can be one of the costs of following Jesus. Sometimes you find yourself having to leave behind the ties of home. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have no ties. Our friends Chris and Heidi receive financial support from us and other friends, as well as their church. They come to the states to visit and share the work they are doing. As I have moved from church to church, there is always a community there to welcome me and work with me. Clergy build strong ties over the years as we live out the unique life of itinerant ministry. And there is your family that goes with you through all the moves. We do sometimes have to leave one place and go somewhere else for the sake of following Jesus. But we never travel alone. And the ties that bind us to people we have done life with are strong.

A second person comes along and Jesus invites him to follow. His response is, “I will follow, but first I must bury my father.” Then Jesus responds with those insensitive words, “Let the dead bury their own dead. You, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” In those days, as now, Jewish custom insists that a person must be buried the day they die. Further, in the days of Jesus, the only one who is allowed to touch the dead body without becoming ritually unclean is the son for the purpose of burial. Anyone else would have to go through a lengthy process of purification. So, what this man is saying to Jesus is that he will follow, but he has a family obligation that must be taken care of first. We don’t know if his father has already died or if the man is wanting to wait until he is dead. He probably doesn’t want to risk being farther than one day’s journey so that he can bury his father in time. Jesus is challenging this as an excuse to delay discipleship. There is an urgency in Jesus’ call for discipleship, a need to set aside future family obligations for the sake of following Jesus. And that is a cost, the possibility of not being immediately available when the family needs you.

Of course, this can go too far. I heard this pastor’s kid tell of the resentment he had toward his dad and the church because his dad wasn’t there often for school activities or sports competitions because he was always caring for other church people or had meetings, always putting the church above the needs of his family. My wife and I decided early on that we would not let that happen. I would not let my commitment to the church keep me from being there for my kids and involved with their lives or keep my marriage strong. Family is more important than church work. Still, following Jesus does call for sacrifices. Sometimes family obligations have to be set aside for the sake of doing the work of ministry. When the urgency of the moment calls for a response, it doesn’t always happen when it is most convenient for the family.

A third person comes along and says, “I will follow you. But first, let me say good-bye to my parents.” And Jesus replies with, “Whoever puts their hand on the plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God.” This is not a moral judgment but an aptitude judgment. It is a matter of focus. Being a disciple requires focus, keeping your eyes on Jesus. And Jesus is always one step ahead of us, leading us somewhere. Looking back to what was, to what has been left behind, causes us to lose focus on the present task before us and what that next faithful step needs to be. We can’t look back and move forward. This is another cost of discipleship, leaving the past behind and not looking back, but instead following Jesus wherever you are in life, moving forward.

This is one reason why pastors are discouraged from going back to churches they have served to do things like weddings and funerals. They have to move on, and congregations have to let them go. In our situation it is a little different. I’m not leaving the Hilltop. But my relationship with you is changing. I will be hopefully working with you in doing ministry in the community through the Shalom Zone. But I won’t be your pastor. Jesus is leading me in a different direction. I can’t look back. We all have to keep our eyes forward and not look back as we follow Jesus. You can’t go far in a boat if it is still tied to the dock.

Now, a lot of preachers who preach on this passage say we need to count the cost of discipleship. But I believe there is another point to be made here. These three people presented Jesus with legitimate excuses to delay discipleship, and Jesus would not have it. There is a real sense of urgency to follow Jesus when you hear the call. Counting the cost is important. But what we see in this passage is Jesus demanding obedience to his call to follow without delay. The apostles are an example for us. When Jesus called Peter, he dropped his fishing nets right away to follow. Matthew got up from behind his tax booth. There doesn’t seem to be a long period of weighing costs and benefits when it comes to responding to Jesus’ call. These apostles showed an amazing ability to heed the call, to be obedient to Jesus’ invitation without hesitation.

Sometimes when a parent tells one of their young children to do something, the child asks why, and the parent says, “because I said so.” The child doesn’t have to understand why it is necessary to do what the parent says all the time. They just need to do what they are told. I believe the same principle is at work when Jesus calls us, invites us, to respond to the call to discipleship, to follow him, to make him first in our relationships. We don’t have to know why, or what the consequences are of following Jesus. We can play the “what if” game as long as it takes to avoid acting on the opportunity in front of us to respond as Jesus is calling us. Jesus wants us to follow him because he said so. Later, we come to understand the wisdom of the decision to follow before we know the why’s and how’s and what if’s.

When Kim and I decided to adopt children, both of us considered whether we were ready to be parents. We counted the cost, the inability to take off for a little weekend getaway, having to cut back on eating out, the further demands of our time, the added responsibilities. We knew there are incredible joys associated with parenting too. But there will be costs as well. Life will change. And change causes anxiety. We wondered if we were really up to it. Marriage was the same way. I wondered if I was up to being a husband and willing to let go the freedoms of bachelorhood. Same thing when I made the commitment to go into pastoral ministry rather than pursue teaching. In all of the big decisions of life, thinking it over before making the decision can be daunting. When we make these decisions, and it seems like everything is at stake and we can’t go back, some of the hardest things we have to do in life.

But I have discovered that after these life decisions are made, and time takes its course, the challenges and costs that come along don’t seem as burdensome and uncertain as they appeared before making the decision. Not that things are easy. But it has been my experience that God prepares me for the challenges that come along, in married life, in parenting, in ministry. I have come to learn that we gain knowledge and wisdom over time. With it comes confidence and character. I am not who I was before making that decision. God continues to shape me as I journey along the road I believe God has placed before me. This is true for all of you.

Love makes all the difference. When you love something or someone, then the sacrifices don’t hold us back from doing what needs done. What I’m trying to say is, when we are asked to consider the cost of discipleship, of following Jesus, before making the decision to obey, the costs may seem almost unbearable. And there is uncertainty if you are up to it. But once you make the decision, are obedient to God’s call on your life, God makes it possible for you to meet the challenges that come along. God will put people in your life who will support you. And the love that grows takes the sting out of the sacrifices that are required.

I want to urge any of you who have felt the call of God in your life concerning whatever that big life decision to be, to make your decision to follow where you sense God is leading you even if you don’t know what might happen or how things will work out. Trust that God will make a way for you to flourish. God asks for our obedience, to do things because God says so. But God is not a tyrant. God does not set us up to fail. God provides for us. With God, there is always a way through. It is later, after we go through the storm, that we understand the wisdom and blessing of having obediently followed God’s call on our lives.

The greatest blessing that God gives us to sustain us when we have to make sacrifices to follow God, is the blessing of love. There is a great song by Billy Dean several years ago called “You Don’t Count the Cost.” The message of the song is in line with what I have experienced and I’m sure you have too. It is one of the great truths that underlies Jesus’ saying, “No greater love is this, than when one lays down their life for a friend.” It is love for God that makes discipleship possible. I hope that your love for God is stirred and strengthened as I share with you the lyrics of this song.

It happens to a mother when she is giving birth

Her heart is filled with joy, while her body's filled with hurt

She holds her baby close to her despite the pain he caused

When it comes to love you don't count the cost

It happens to a soldier fighting for his home

Fear wells up inside him and yet he still goes on

Even though he knows he may be the next to fall

When it comes to love you don't count the cost

You don't count the heartache, you don't count the sacrifice

'Cause all that counts is what you feel inside

And it doesn't really matter what is gained or what is lost

When it comes to love, oh you don't count the cost

It happens all around us each and every day

Someone's giving all they've got for someone else's sake

And if you ever doubt it just think about the cross

When it comes to love you don't count the cost

You don't count the heartache, you don't count the sacrifice

'Cause all that counts is what you feel inside

And it doesn't really matter what is gained or what is lost

When it comes to love you don't count the cost