Come to Jesus Moments

Based on Acts 9:1-6

Any way you cut it, Saul was a hothead. He had no tolerance for fellow Jews who had fallen for the line the followers of Jesus were saying, that God had raised Jesus from the dead and that there is forgiveness of sins in his name. Absolute blasphemy. The miraculous signs, the growing popularity, had no impression on Saul. As we read in Acts 9:1, Saul is storming through Jerusalem breathing curses and murder against the disciples of Jesus, going straight to the high priest to get his blessing to go all the way up to Damascus, a 135 mile journey, just to find more followers of Jesus to bind and bring back to Jerusalem for punishment. Saul was not playing. He was determined to do everything in his power to rid the world of followers of the so called Way.

I don’t think any of us can relate to Saul’s level of disdain for any group of people. But, if we are honest, there are times in our lives when we may have breathed a curse or two at certain people or groups of people we didn’t agree with. As a matter of fact, for a long time now, if you turn on talk radio or watch the political shows on TV you hear a good deal of cursing at those people on the other side of the political or cultural divide. We may have had some thoughts about people with different political or religious views among friends that we may not have said in public. We aren’t hotheads like Saul. But we do know what it is like to have at least a degree of disdain toward people or groups of people that we don’t like. Biases, prejudices, ignorance, we all have at least a little bit of that in us. It’s just that for Saul, he had an extra helping and it was driving him at a dangerous level. Actually, it was a little scary.

Saul was acting out from his bias, prejudice and ignorance in a very aggressive and public way. That’s not the case for most of us. For the rest of us, our bias is not obvious to us, our prejudice unexamined, our ignorance unaware of. It is so easy for us to make assumptions about people, stereotype, pre-judge and then hold those assumptions to be true when they aren’t. Here’s an example. People often assume and stereotype that people who are homeless are likely abusing substances and/or mentally ill. But people become homeless all the time due to unfortunate life events that has nothing to do with their mental health or drug use. But when people assume that those who are homeless are mentally ill or substance abusers, then this tends to cause us to have less sympathy for their plight. We say, “why don’t they just get a job.” When society looks at people who are homeless as those who are somehow at fault for their predicament, that helps maintain a society that can be incredibly harsh and even dangerous for folks who have found themselves pushed to the margins due to a series of unfortunate events.

Back to Saul. As he and whatever group of toughs he has pulled together are making their way along the great North road toward Damascus, all of a sudden Saul sees the light. He is blinded by the light, even. He hears a voice calling his name and asking him why Saul is persecuting him. All of a sudden, Saul is having a “come to Jesus” moment. The truth of what he is doing out of his bias, prejudice and ignorance is being thrown at him with that simple question. And all Saul knows to do in his confusion is to ask, “Who are you, lord?” And then Jesus lays the hammer down by saying, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” There it is. Saul is confronted with the truth. Jesus is not dead after all. He is alive and talking to Saul right there in the middle of the road. Right there and then Saul is being confronted with his bias, prejudice and ignorance. The whole foundation of his persecution of the followers of Jesus was their talking about Jesus having been raised. Lo and behold, he was.

We all have “come to Jesus” moments in our lives. Someone confronts us with a perspective, some new information, some truth telling, that shines a light on our unknown bias, prejudice and ignorance. We see the light. I told you the story a few weeks ago about the politician who ran into an old friend who was living in a homeless shelter. In that encounter, the politician saw the light and realized that not everyone who ends up homeless are receiving the consequences of poor moral choices. When have there been times in your life when your views about someone or a group of people shifted when you had an encounter that enabled you to see them in a new light? You weren’t struck blind like Saul was. But the assumptions you once held are revealed to have been wrong. And you are left confused and disoriented. I used to have certain assumptions and prejudices toward gay people until I became friends with people who are gay. Same thing toward people of color until I became friends with people of color. Same thing toward people who practiced a religion other than Christianity until I became friends with people who practice other religions. It has been my experience that the assumptions we carry with us as we walk through life can get upended when we come face to face with the people we hold those assumptions about.

Now this, to me, is the most amazing part of the story of Saul’s Damascus road experience. Here he is, blinded by the light. Jesus has named the truth, that Saul has been persecuting him. And the next thing Jesus says is to give Saul directions on where he needs to go and what he needs to do. Jesus says, “Get up and keep walking to Damascus, and when you get there you will be told what to do next.” No scolding. No shaming. No demand for an apology. Jesus skips all that and just tells Saul what he needs to do now. I just find that amazing. It’s as if Jesus doesn’t have time to lay a guilt trip on Saul or make sure he feels bad about what he has done. Jesus has a job for Saul to do. Jesus is focused on the mission. Stuff needs done.

This is helpful for us. When we come to those moments in life where realize that our assumptions were wrong, we can feel guilty about that. Especially when racial bias and prejudice is revealed to us as white people, we can feel that guilt and maybe even feel ashamed of ourselves. That guilt and shame can then have the effect of freezing us. It can become overwhelming. And sometimes in order to deal with the pain of guilt people can become overly sensitive, even fragile, so that anyone who even suggests there is racism in our society has to be shut down or silenced. People will say, “I don’t see color” or, “Why do you have to make everything about race,” in order to avoid being confronted with the lived experience of people who have been on the receiving end of racial bias.

But here’s the thing. Burdening ourselves with guilt or shame is not helpful. And it’s not what Jesus is about. Look again at what happened to Saul. Jesus confronted Saul with the truth, that he had been persecuting Jesus. How? By seeing to it that his followers were arrested, beaten, and hopefully stoned or crucified. People had lost their lives because of Saul. He was a dangerous man. But Jesus tells Saul the truth about what he did and then he tells Saul to keep walking to Damascus because he has work for him to do. No scolding. No shaming. Because there is work to do. What does this teach us about how we can respond when we are confronted with the truth about ourselves, about our biases, prejudices, and ignorance?

We have opportunities to find out. Come to Jesus moments happen throughout our lives. Out of nowhere, we can get blindsided with the truth of something that reveals our bias, prejudice and ignorance. I have to believe that when Saul realized what he did, that he felt a lot of remorse, guilt and maybe a good deal of shame. In fact, Paul would say that he is the least of all the apostles because he persecuted the church. He probably truly believed that. But Jesus had a mission for Paul. He had work to do. It is normal for us to feel bad when we come to realize that what we held to be true wasn’t true. We can acknowledge that we have been humbled. And we have to keep going, keep living our lives, but with a different perspective. Saul was still going to Damascus. But for completely different reasons. In fact, he didn’t even know what he was going to do when he got there. He was going to have to wait for Jesus to tell him. That’s true for us as well. When our perspective changes, we have to keep moving forward with our lives, but for different reasons, and wait for Jesus to have someone tell us what to do next.